Why Playing Hard to Get Fails Before Anyone Wants You
Updated
Knowledge on this page was mainly distilled from Become a Luxury Without Sacrificing Leverage.
Playing hard to get fails early because unavailability signals value only to people who already know what they would miss. In-demand experts turn down calls, keep waiting lists, and say no often, so it is easy to conclude that being unavailable made them desirable. But they were in demand first. Before anyone knows your work, nobody notices that you are unavailable. Copying their refusals at the start only limits your week before anyone wants it.
Strangers need to watch your judgment work
Before anyone pays for your judgment, they need to see it operate. Public work is where that happens:
- An essay shows the questions you ask and the assumptions you won't accept.
- A product, even a rough one, shows how you think.
- A case study shows what changed because you were there.
None of it costs more of your time per viewer, so it lets any number of strangers learn how you think. And it works as a body, not as a single hit. Haim notes that when he looks at the times he was sought out, in entertainment and in business, he cannot trace any of them to one piece of public work. A pattern only becomes visible once there is enough of it to see.
Evidence: bingo cards and drop caps
Patrick McKenzie spent years writing openly on his blog and on Hacker News about how he marketed Bingo Card Creator, a small program for making bingo cards, results included. When he quietly let people know he was available for consulting, all three of his first clients, he wrote, "knew me well from the Internets." That year he called his blog and online participation his single best source of leads, and summed up what the emails said: "Do it again, except with less bingo this time, and more of our particular problem domain." They had watched his judgment work on his own business and wanted it applied to theirs.
The same pattern shows up far from software. In September 2009, lettering artist Jessica Hische started Daily Drop Cap, drawing one decorative letter every workday until she had finished twelve alphabets. She already had lettering clients and hoped the project would keep her motivated when work was slow. It made far more people aware of her work. Seven years later, she said it had brought in more lettering clients, and people were still asking her for projects based on single letterforms: the kind of work she had shown in public hundreds of times.
The strongest evidence becomes the paid work
Public evidence evolves. After his first few engagements, McKenzie said, Bingo Card Creator stopped being the most credible thing he could point to. He collected case studies from clients with good outcomes and put them straight into proposals for later engagements, and most of the jumps in his rate came right after an engagement went exceptionally well. Evidence has to reach the people who decide, and some of the strongest evidence is the paid work itself.
The implication is about order. Visibility comes before scarcity, because scarcity is only legible to an audience that has already seen what you do.
Q&A
Isn't a waiting list a good way to create demand from scratch?
Not from scratch. A waiting list or a refusal means something only to people who already know what they would be missing. Before your work is known, a limit goes unnoticed, so it costs you reach without signaling anything. Scarcity works after demand is visible, not as a substitute for it.
Is one great essay or product enough to get sought out?
Usually not. Haim cannot trace any of the times he was sought out to a single piece of public work; it was the body of work. A pattern in how you think only becomes visible once there is enough of it for strangers to see.
Does my public work have to be about my clients' domain?
Not necessarily. McKenzie wrote about marketing a bingo card program, and clients asked him to do it again with less bingo and more of their problem domain. What they bought was the judgment they had watched at work, which transferred from his business to theirs.
When should client results replace my own projects as evidence?
Once you have them. After McKenzie's first few engagements, Bingo Card Creator stopped being his most credible evidence. He gathered case studies from clients with good outcomes and used them in later proposals, and most of his rate increases followed exceptionally successful engagements.